


Shattered Quartz

by darkling_spark



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, Not Beta Read, Sad Ending, both characters say things they shouldn't, it's literally just so much angst, openish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkling_spark/pseuds/darkling_spark
Summary: June and Nora break up. It's exactly what it sounds like- just 1.2 k words of angst
Relationships: June Claremont-Diaz/Nora Holleran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Shattered Quartz

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Sorry, this is really sad. I sort of just? Had to write it? In like November lol. I was going through some stuff at the time. Later I thought about expanding it into more than just a one-shot, but it didn't really fit, so here you go! It's done, I won't be adding to it.

**Nora**

“June-”

She turns, and with each step she takes the click of her heels feels like a blow.

“June, please!”

“I don’t want to hear it Nora. Look, I know you had the best intentions, but you fucked things up. I’m done. I’ll see you tomorrow for our interview with People.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure I want to do it you mean? After the way you betrayed me like that?” 

She’s right. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I tore us apart instead of bringing us closer. All I want to do now is to beg for forgiveness, on my knees if I have to, but I know that won’t help at all. 

She’s never been the type to forgive pleas, or to fall for outrageous confessions. I know June well enough to know that she’s always preferred someone steadier, dependable. Someone she can lean on so that she doesn’t always have to be everyone else’s rock. 

I did my best to be that for her, but I’ve never been enough. I doubt I ever will be, not for her. June is confident, determined, intelligent, opinionated, witty, talented, supportive, understanding, and jesus fucking christ she’s so damn hot.

I never got how Alex was the international sex symbol, not when he was standing next to June. How could anything compare? I guess I did the exact same thing. 

When you first meet the Claremont-Diaz siblings, it’s Alex that stands out. Charismatic, bright, so damn determined that he’s the smartest person in every room. (He’s not, by the way. We finally settled it one night once and for all with a good old fashioned round of bar trivia.)

Alex is magnetic, I suppose, but June is quartz. Clear, stabilizing, protective, and perfect. She’s not the one you’re first drawn to, but once you find her - once I found her - I never wanted to leave her side.

And that’s why I walk away. I know nothing I say now will change anything; I’ll probably just make things worse.

“Oh, so now you’re just going to run? Decided I’m not worth a fight?” June yells.

“No, I know anything I say will make things worse. If I give you time, you can calm down, and I can collect my thoughts.”

“You’ve never gotten it Nora. People aren’t statistics. You can’t choose the most likely course of action, and ignore feelings. We’re not all sociopaths like you.”

I don’t have a response to that. It’s the one area we’ve never talked about, the place June never dared to tread. I- It’s not that I don’t have feelings. I calculate the chances, and then I do my best to ignore everything else, that’s all. The only time I didn’t do that was June. I see now it was a mistake. A month of bliss wasn’t worth losing my closest friend in the world.

I thought that she was done, but she takes another deep breath and shouts, “Don’t you get it Nora? It’s not all about the words you say. It’s about being there. You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to try to at least stand by me some of the time. You can’t just fucking abandon me to run a model.”

Fuck. She’s right, I know she’s right, but I can’t handle it. I don’t want to. So my mind does the only other thing it knows how to do, it shuts down. I understand that she’s right, that I need to be more supportive, but I can’t process it. Can’t work through it.

It’s not the criticism, it’s that it’s June saying the words. I’m sure I need to hear them, but in this manner, from her-

She’s the person I care about most in the world. There are several people I would die for, but she’s the only one who makes me want to live.

Without her, there must be reasons, but my fingers are grasping at straws. At this point I might as well fall.

**June**

Fuck. I know I’ve misstepped the moment she shuts down. I immediately wish I could take the words back, because it’s not true. Nora is so empathetic, and even if she’s closely guarded, she does have emotions. She really cares. I try to backpedal, but my mouth seems determined to dig me further into this awful hole I’ve dug.

“Don’t you get it Nora? It’s not all about the words you say. It’s about being there. You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to try to at least stand by me some of the time. You can’t just fucking abandon me to run a model.”

Her face crumples, and she freezes, hands clenching her blouse, tears trickling down her face, before turning and running away.

I think I’ve seen Nora cry three times. 

The first time we were all seriously drunk, and she started crying after Alex said 4x3 is 6. I’m not sure if it really counts.

The second was when my mom won the election, the second time. She knew how much it meant to all of us, but especially Alex. Nora is really intuitive, and she knew that if Ellen lost, my brother would always blame himself. They were tears of relief, not for herself, but for her friends.

The third was a little after we started dating, when she finally told me the truth about her parents. Not even Alex knows.

And now this. I promised to myself I’d never be the reason one of my close friends started crying again. Not for something sad. Not after Evan.

She’s gone. Part of me doesn’t want to apologize. I confronted her because she’d gone behind my back. Things sort of… escalated. A lot. I know I should be the one to say sorry; I was the one to take things too far. Yet she was the reason they got there.

I don’t know. Logically, I’d ought to. Nora is one of the best things that ever happened to me, I can’t lose her. She’s the person I care most about in the world.

I always thought it funny that Alex was considered the stubborn one. He’ll fight, but only if he’s absolutely sure, and it’s something he’s incredibly passionate about. He can actually be quite indecisive.

I’m the one that holds grudges for no reason, when I know I should have forgiven them a long time ago. I’m the one who never notices when I’ve taken things a step too far. 

This is where it got me. Alone in the corridor outside the west bedroom, that damned newspaper still stuck in my hand. The love of my fucking life in tears, probably already on the way to Boston. It’s not even her fault, not really. This never should have gotten out either way.

Normally when I’m in a crisis like this, I’d call Nora. That’s definitely off the table now though. 

I’ve gotten so wrapped up in her, I forgot about anything else. I didn’t leave out anything to catch me for when I’d inevitably fall. I’m not even certain that Alex would side with me over her.

I’ve always had a support system, even if I tried to not let anyone get too close. This is one of the first times I’ve known that I have nowhere else to turn. There’s no more options left.

This is it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! please leave a comment if you want, or talk to me on [tumblr](https://that-bi-bliophile.tumblr.com/)


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